So Time magazine has a quiz that attempts to identify your political leanings based on 12 non-political questions. The questions are:
- I prefer cats to dogs.
- I prefer watching documentaries to action/adventure movies.
- Respect for authority is something all children need to learn.
- I keep my desk and other workspaces very neat and organized.
- I believe that self-expression is more important than self-control.
- If I heard that a new restaurant in my neighborhood blended the cuisines of two very different cultures, that would make me want to try it.
- My government should treat lives of its citizens as being much more valuable than lives in other countries.
- If I were married or in a serious dating relationship, I would think it is perfectly OK for my partner to look at erotic or pornographic pictures or videos, by himself/herself.
- The Internet browser I most often use is
- I wish the world did not have nations or borders and we were all part of one big group.
- If I were to visit New York City, I would rather go to Times Square than the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
- I am proud of my country’s history.
I tried it. I got 29% conservative, %71 liberal. I noticed, though, that slight changes in one or two answers turned that around completely. Okay.
But I propose another quiz that identifies your political leanings: The conspiracy theory quiz. Here are the questions:
- Do you believe global warming is a hoax, or not?
- Do you believe Osama bin Laden is alive, or not?
- Do you believe a UFO crash at Roswell, New Mexico, in 1947, and the US government covered it up, or not?
- Do you believe that a secretive power elite with a globalist agenda is conspiring to eventually rule the world through an authoritarian world government, or New World Order, or not?
- Do you believe Saddam Hussein was involved in the September 11th, 2001, attacks on America, or not?
- Do you believe there is a link between
childhood vaccines and autism, or not?
- Do you believe the moon landing was faked, or not?
- Do you believe President Obama is the anti-Christ, or not?
- Do you believe the Bush administration intentionally misled the public about the possibility of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq to promote the Iraq War, or not?
- Do you believe aliens exist, or not?
- Do you believe the CIA was instrumental in distributing crack cocaine into America’s inner cities in the 1980s, or not?
- Do you believe the government adds fluoride to our water supply, not for dental health reasons, but for other, more sinister reasons, or not?
- Do you believe that shape-shifting reptilian people control our world by taking on human form and gaining political power to manipulate our societies, or not?
- Do you believe that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone in killing President Kennedy, or was there some larger conspiracy at work?
- Do you believe in Bigfoot or Sasquatch, or not?
- Do you believe media or the government adds secret mind-controlling technology to television broadcast signals, or not?
- Do you believe that the exhaust seen in the sky behind airplanes is actually chemicals sprayed by the government for sinister reasons, or not?
- Do you believe that the pharmaceutical industry is in league with the medical industry to “invent” new diseases in order to make money, or not?
- Do you believe Paul McCartney actually died in a car crash in 1966 and was secretly replaced by a lookalike so The Beatles could continue, or not?
- Do you believe the United States government knowingly allowed the attacks on September 11th, 2001, to happen, or not?
It turns out that all of these questions were asked by Public Policy Polling. They also asked respondents for their political leanings, and who they voted for in the 2012 presidential election. So now we know how many liberals and conservatives believe in these various theories.
For instance, over 70% of liberals believe the Bush administration intentionally misled the public about WMD in Iraq, whereas only 23% of “somewhat conservatives” did, and only 18% of “very conservatives.” (I do have a quibble about this question: This is a conspiracy theory? It seems pretty well documented and settled history, which would mean that about 80% of conservatives are unwilling to accept documented fact in this case. But I digress.)
Would you believe that more liberals than conservatives think the moon landing was faked? Or that Paul McCartney really did die in 1966? Well, that’s what PPP says.
But conservatives score on Obama as the anti-Christ; about 20% of conservatives believe that. Conservatives are also more likely to believe in lizard people and very conservative people are the most likely to believe in Big Foot.
So I’m thinkin’ we need a stats wiz to help us take the cross tabs and turn them into our own AllPolytics quiz that predicts political leanings. In the meantime, here’s more or less how it shakes out.
You’re probably a liberal if you believe:
- The moon landing was faked.
- Bush misled us on WMD in Iraq.
- The CIA spread crack in inner cities.
- Oswald didn’t act alone.
- Paul McCartney died in 1966.
- The government allowed 9/11 to happen.
You’re probably a conservative if you believe:
- Global warming is a hoax.
- Bin Laden is alive.
- The New World Order is about to take over.
- Saddam Huissen was involved in 9/11.
- Vaccines cause autism.
- Obama is the anti-Christ.
- Lizard people are real.
- New diseases were invented to make money.